Discord's Pet Human
by Thorizard
Summary: In the midst of his reformation and reparation following the terror of Lord Tirek, Discord is given the assignment by Fluttershy to take a pet. However, he ventures to Earth and takes a human for a pet, bringing Caleb Tobin back to Equestria. Will Caleb be able to adjust to his new life?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

The lights blind me as I walk into the small studio. I close my eyes hard, feeling the bright light slowly become less offensive. I open them and find a recording studio different from anything I've ever seen before. Well, it's not that different when I start to make the connections. There are no chairs, just cushions on the floor. Ponies don't usually sit in chairs after all. Everything is very low to the ground, but I guess that's so ponies can do things while standing on all fours or sitting on the floor. Buttons and gadgets are pretty huge, but I guess they have to be when the only way to move things is with hooves and long mouths.

"Come, come!" the stuck-up one says, ushering me to my cushion. Her name's Rarity, but where I come from, she's just a stereotypical rich girl. Well, except she's a pony. "Sit down! We're about to start!"

I sit cross-legged on a pretty purple pillow with nice gold stitching and all sorts of things that make me wonder if I'll ever see a urinal or a football again. I'm worrying that this whole universe is girly.

The beloved Princess Twilight sits her beloved bottom down in front of me, intentionally avoiding eye-contact. She acts like she's busy checking to make sure everyone is doing everything right, and everybody acts like she's doing the right things. Someone– excuse me– some_pony_ offers me a glass of water. I nod at the ground, and she places it there nicely.

"Thank you," I say. She smiles. It's a nice gesture, but this is all way too weird. Everyone thinks so.

"Quiet on the set!" commands Rarity. Somepony rushes the jabbering pink one out. I pray I don't get stuck at a dinner table with that balloons-for-brains. "Interview between Princess Twilight Sparkle and Caleb Tobin, the first human in Equestria, is live in... 3! 2! 1!"

The princess fixes her eyes kindly on the camera in front of her, and speaks in her soothing political voice, "Thank you for joining us tonight, viewers. This special edition of _Rarity Meets _will be hosted by me, your devoted Princess of Friendship, Twilight Sparkle. Tonight, I'll be interviewing one of the most controversial figures to appear in Equestria since the famed reformation of Discord." She turns to me, keeping her princess-face on strong as she turns her attention to finally look me straight in the eyes. Her smile stays perfectly, excessively still. "Please introduce yourself, sir."

I clear my throat and look straight back at her as I was directed earlier instead of at the cameras. "My name is Caleb Tobin. I'm a human from Earth, and I was brought here by Discord's magic to be his pet."

The room goes silent. I don't want to dance around the subject right now. Everyone knows the reason that we're having this interview. Some want to put Discord back into stone-encasement for bringing a human into Equestria without consulting anyone. This coming so shortly after his recent betrayal of– well, everyone actually.

The princess turns away from the cards and cues. I guess she wants to get straight to the point as well. She hasn't been very fond of Discord historically. "Alright then, Caleb. Can you tell us why Discord brought you to Equestria?"

I nod. It's time to tell everyone, so I may as well jump into it. "Discord, my loving master," I say, forgetting for a moment to keep the sarcasm low, "was given the assignment by Fluttershy to take on a pet. She determined this was the next step in turning him into a true friend, and she told him to choose whatever animal he wanted for a friend. I assume that immediately after that, he appeared in my world, talked to me for a little, and brought me here after I agreed."

The princess nods, giving the audience a moment to consider that thought, I assume. She seems to be playing her role very well; very professionally. "Now when Discord appeared to you, what did he say? Did you feel pressured to come with him?"

I shake my head. "I felt completely as if it was up to me, but it was quite clear that he was set on taking a human as a pet. He certainly didn't threaten me or anything like that, but it was obvious that he would continue asking humans until he found someone who said yes."

"You mentioned family. Did you leave behind anyone you loved?"

I shake my head again. I try not to let my voice fall low. I try not to think about what I'm saying at all. "No. I was a foster-child actually."

"What do you mean 'foster-child?'"

"My family, parents and one brother, died when I was young. I've spent the last 6 years in a foster program, waiting to turn 18. No one else was close to me. That's why it was easy for me to leave, and I think it might be why Discord chose to ask me."

"I'm terribly sorry to hear that, Caleb." She pauses, letting the emotion fade away. Just when I feel ready to answer more questions, she says, "You think Discord chose you? What makes you say that?"

"There are 7 billion humans on my planet. I don't really believe in 7 billion to 1 odds, so I think he narrowed it down somehow."

"How do you think that process went?"

"I don't know. Maybe he was watching a few people. I don't know, Princess."

"You can call me Twilight," she says, smiling politely. It's her first effort toward me tonight, so I guess she must be feeling more comfortable with this.

I nod.

Her smile fades just slightly, but she talks to avoid showing emotion, I think. "Can you tell us about your home?"

I break eye-contact a little. I remember they told me not to do that, so I bring it back. "I don't know what part of Earth you went to, Princess, but I was never there. From what I've heard, you found a suburban paradise."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, I'm not from a good place. Where I lived, people didn't have much, you know?" I start with that. She seems to want me to keep going. "Uh, well, I mean I grew up in a very poor part of town. In the streets, people were always fighting. Nobody had real friends, I don't think. There were just gangs."

"Tell me more, " she says. "Why did people fight? Why didn't they have friends? How did you deal with all of this?"

I look away again. Rarity points at the princess, silently mouthing, "Look at her! Not me!"

I sigh. I look back at the princess. "It all comes down to what someone has and what someone else wants, I think. Nobody ever got things, at least not legally, you know? So, uh, if a guy had something valuable, he'd try to sell it illegally or use it illegally. And if somebody else found out, they'd try to take it from him so they could sell it or use it. That was the only way to make it through the day there, you know? People would just take things. And if it wasn't easy, if somebody said no, then they would fight." I pause for a second. "And one of them might kill the other."

"Kill?" she repeats. She seems completely shocked, confirming that she's never seen anything like that. She's never had to deal with the stuff I went through every day. "Why would someone kill over just," she hesitates, "just a thing?"

I shake my head. "I don't know, man." Someone shoots me a look. Oh, right. "I mean princess. Sorry."

"It's alright, Caleb," she says, reassuring me. "Tell me what you think of that place. What made it that way?"

I try to nod. It's hard for me to think and make eye-contact at the same time. I look away while I talk. "You know, I guess it's cause not having anything makes people afraid. They're afraid people that have things will hurt them. When they're afraid, they don't trust anyone. Everybody says, 'the only person you can trust is yourself,' and everyone agrees with that, right? So cause people don't trust, they keep everything to themselves. They're always lying about what they have to make sure nobody ever takes anything, and all. So nobody ever has anyone to be honest to cause no one trusts them, you know? So when somebody acts nice down there, people get all afraid that the guy's trying to make a move on 'em. Like the nice guy is just trying to get your guard down or something, and then they're gonna scam you or steal from you or just kill you when they get the chance. Cause it happens, man, uh princess. Sorry again."

"It's alri–"

"So who do you laugh with if you have no friends, huh?" the pink idiot shouts as she jumps in front of me before a blue pony with a rainbow-colored tail tackles her and drags her out of view. "Tell me!" she yells while holding her ground.

I shrug and look at her while I answer. "There's nothing to laugh at. If you're not happy, why would you laugh? If nobody's happy, then they're only gonna make jokes about other people. And that's fine till that person's you. Then you gotta defend yourself and fight that guy or you'll always be the joke, and they'll always disrespect you. If you're always disrespected, you'll always stay beneath everyone. You can't go anywhere if you're beneath anyone, and we all just wanna get out."

"That's stup–" she tries to say, but the door closes on her. Big words from you, Lollipop, calling anything stupid.

"Sorry about that," the princess says. "Pinkie Pie is very curious. Once her mind's set on something, it's hard to stop her. Luckily, Rainbow Dash cleared that up quicker than anyone else could have."

Two more names. Hooray. I actively stop my eyes from rolling.

"So maybe something to calm us down a little?" the princess suggests. "What do you think of Equestria so far? Have you seen more than Ponyville?"

I shake my head. "I've only been here for a day. Discord kind of just brought me here and dropped me off in the middle of the town so he could go grocery shopping, I think. He put on some weird clothes, got into a car, and then just vanished while the car floated away somewhere."

"Well, I know we're talking about the same Discord now," she says, laughing. I laugh a little. She keeps smiling and looking me in the eye, so I turn away until I can get rid of my smile.

"So I walked around the town," I say. "Everyone hid, but I didn't really pay any attention to them. I thought Discord told me everything about how different this place was, so I wasn't really surprised by anything until I started to notice that it was just like a small town. From Earth I mean. Ponyville seemed like a small town from Earth that I'd see in a movie or something. With the apple farm, and the animal shelter, and the cake shop, and the kids playing everywhere. I mean it all looked normal except for when they saw me and freaked out. That and this giant castle thing in the middle of the town."

She laughs a little at that. "I guess the palace does look a little out of place, doesn't it?"

I half-smile, mostly out of obligation. She looks away at the cues, looking for her next question, I guess. She's finally figuring out that I don't want to be here, I think. I don't like her high-and-mighty attitude, and I don't like anyone else's worshipping attitude toward her either.

"So one thing we haven't talked about is what you think of Discord," she says. "I'm sure you're aware that Discord's behavior is one of the main reasons we're having this interview. How do you like him?"

"Well, I don't trust him," I say, and the ponies off camera look at each other, nodding, "but he told me not to trust him. In a way, that made it okay. I heard what he had to say to me, and it was hard to tell when he was lying, but it seemed like he genuinely wanted me to choose for myself if I wanted to come. So I don't think he would have lied to me about Equestria. I mean, he pitched his side like a politician would. He made points that I agreed with. I hated my life on Earth. I could have a fresh start in a place where people don't suffer or worry about being shot or where their next meal will come from. He didn't say it was perfect. He even said that he was far from perfect, but that I should give it all a chance."

"From what I understand, It sounds like he's being a very good friend to you."

I shrug. "Yeah," I start to say, but I can't think of anything else. I just leave it at that while the princess waits for me to continue.

"Thank you, Caleb," she says, giving her most genuine smile yet. She turns to the camera. I guess the smile is so genuine because she's glad to be finished. "Thank you to all of our viewers for tuning in tonight for this special edition of _Rarity Meets_. Remember to wake up bright and early tomorrow for _Rainbow's Sports Breakdown Dash _as your favorite element of loyalty Rainbow Dash gives you all the highlights of this week's athletic excitement across Equestria at 6 AM. That's all we have for tonight. So let the rainbow remind you that together we will always shine!"

"Cut!" Rarity calls and runs on set to give the princess a hug, which looks weird since they have no arms, so she's kind of just jumping on her and wrapping her legs around the princess's neck. "That was wonderful Twilight! You truly were a star! But we'll have to shorten that motto if we want anyone to remember it." She smiles at me and says, "Well done, my dear. I couldn't have asked any better from you!"

It almost feels like there's an insult hidden in there, but I guess I just don't know her very well.

The princess smiles at Rarity and starts to stand. She looks at me and gestures with her head for me to follow. "Can we talk a little more, Caleb?" she asks.

I nod and stand up. It's weird being almost twice as tall as anyone here. I forgot when I was sitting down how big I am compared to them. The only one I've met so far that's taller than me is Discord, but I think the sun princess is taller than me too. That's what one pony told me at least.

"Is something wrong?" she asks me. I didn't notice, but we were already outside.

"What?" I ask.

"I've been talking to you this whole time," she says. "Have you listened to me at all?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, well what–" she stops. I think I know what she was about to ask. What did I hear? Nothing. She already knows it. She knows I wasn't paying attention, and it's not worth calling me on it. So now what does she want? "Caleb, just tell me what I can do to make you feel like you belong here. I know this isn't your home, but from what you've told me, you didn't have a home before. So what's wrong?"

I sigh. "I don't know. This place just feels," I say, pausing to think of a better word, but there isn't one. I have to say it. "Fake."

"Why is that?"

We're walking down the dirt road outside the castle. I think she just wants to show me the town herself. We walk past several houses, but no one is surprised to see me now. Actually, they wave and say hi at the princess _and_ me. They're all so joyful. As long as the pink one doesn't show up, I'll–

"Oh my gosh, Twilight! That was like the best thing ever! You're totally the best interviewer person ever, you should totally interview me and then we could talk all about cake oh my gosh I _love_ cake and then you can bring Rarity on and start a tea party won't that just be so much fun?! Then we can–"

Freaking beetlejuice. I swear. If she didn't talk or exist, she'd be half as annoying. But even if she died, I'm pretty sure the damn memory of her stupid voice would haunt me till the day I died.

She's still talking, but I can tune anyone out, so this– _and then when he answered my– _damn it! If I think about her, she'll– _I couldn't believe you let him answer me even though he's so different– _shit! leave me alone you cotton candy creep! I just want to– _like he's still really cool, and I know we'll be best friends cause I'm best friends with everyone!_

I sigh. I need to calm down, or I'll never get her out. Alright, I don't like her, but I guess I should be glad there's no one else like her. If I ever find out she has sisters though, I'll take the next flight to North Korea and piss off the government.

"Okay, bye!" she shouts and bounces away.

"Thank God," I say. Oh. I meant to say that silently. She's probably too dumb to get it anyways if she heard me. The princess heard me though. I can tell by her raised eyebrow.

She shakes her head. "You haven't answered yet. What's bothering you so much? Why is Ponyville fake?"

She stops. I sit on a rock and look around us. We're outside the town now, and the only thing on either side of the dirt road is miles of grass and a few lonely trees. Nobody– nopony– is out here with us. She's still waiting for me to say something.

"It's just not like what I grew up with," I finally say. She nods as if she expected me to say that. "Everyone's nice, but it's hard for me to trust them. I'm sure I'll get past it."

"Is that all?" she asks. But she isn't just checking. She doesn't believe me.

I look at her. I thought I gave her the answer she wanted. It wasn't enough.

I look at the grass at my feet. "I don't like how much you waste magic here. Like, you use it for the most useless things. Holding clipboards. Cleaning rooms. Even for eating. It doesn't make sense."

"That's just what unicorns do. We have magic, so why shouldn't we use–"

"Yeah, yeah. I know, and it's cool that you have magic for anything you want, but I think it's stupid that you have all that and no one else does."

She walks closer and puts her hoof on my knee. I tense up, but she's really gentle. It gives me goosebumps, but it's weirdly calming. It makes me wonder if she's using a spell on me.

"I know you grew up in a hard place, Caleb," she says with a voice so kind and smooth that it's almost seductive. But that's completely the wrong word. I don't know what it's like. "Ponyville– Equestria– is different. You don't have to worry about food or violence here. Sure we have our problems, but that's only when someone's trying to take over the world or something, and it's not like that's every day. Most of the time, we're just happy to be where we are. We're just happy to be alive."

I look back at the grass even though she's so close, but she doesn't move away. She stays with me.

"You don't have to be sad, Caleb," she says. "We all try to be happy. I'm not asking you to change who you are. That's really hard, and I know it's gonna take a lot for you to trust us and be friends with us, but I know that everyone here is willing to work to make that happen."

The goosebumps crawl all over me like insects, and I can't take it. I stand up and nearly hit her. I finally get a little distance. It feels better. She doesn't look offended. She just smiles kindly.

"It'll take time."

"Thanks, Princess."

"Please, call me Twilight."

I pause for a second. "Thanks," I start. I decide to say it. "Thanks, Twilight."

I don't look at her when I say it, but I can tell it made her happy.

"C'mon, let's go back," she says after a moment. "You need to meet everyone before Discord comes back for you!"

"Why was everyone so pissed that Discord brought me here?" I just blurted it out. I couldn't take it anymore. It feels better now that I said it, I think.

"We were just upset because we thought he took you against your will. When we heard 'pet,' it sounded like slave to us. We had to make sure that wasn't the case."

I look down at the dirt. Even the rocks seem pretty and happy. It's just not real.

She walks past me and says, "Let's go."

I watch her walking away. I almost turn around and walk the other way, but I wouldn't know where to go. I can't just leave if I don't have a plan. Actually, I guess that's how I got here in the first place. I just went for it.

I stop thinking about it and follow her.


	2. Slavery

I follow Twilight downstairs to the palace's underground chamber. I can hear music thumping louder with every step we take until we enter a small dance-room where the rest of the six throne-warmers and the baby dragon are all dancing to some music played by a white pony with blue hair and sunglasses at a DJ table. They all welcome me and try to dance with me, but it's all so weird. The more they try to make me fit in, the more I feel like I don't belong. A bunch of ponies are dancing all around me, and I'm just standing and sort of moving. I don't want to look too uncomfortable, or they'd stop and talk to me. They mostly don't notice. If I was at a human party, I'd assume the blue one, Rainbow; I'd think she was flirting with me.

The party drags on, and they're all having fun. I walk away and grab some punch or whatever it is as often as I can without getting called out on it. I know Twilight sees that I'm not having fun, but she doesn't bother me. Either she wants someone else to deal with it, or she's just sick of me. Or both.

The more the party drags on, the more I wonder how I can get out. There's nothing I can do though, so I just continue to move around. I start to watch them each, watching their expressions and movements. I don't know why they're partying, why they're so happy. There's nothing to celebrate at all, but they're all so genuinely full of joy. It doesn't make sense.

I lean on the punch table, starting to feel in my stomach that I drunk too much. I almost feel sick, but this is my only way away from the dance floor. I take a deep breath, closing my eyes. When I open, Fluttershy is standing right in front of me, scaring me so badly that I nearly throw up. I hold myself together. Clearly, I stood over here way too long.

Her mouth is moving. I swear she's saying something. I can almost hear it, but I might just be imagining words for her.

"What? I can't hear you!" I say, really not that loudly. The music is loud, but not concert-level.

She starts mouth-moving again. I wonder for a second if she's messing with me, but I know this is just her. I heard she's usually very shy. Go figure. It's in her damn name. If I had been named Shy, I would have made it my goal to be the loudest damn kid in town. Everyone would have known my name, and I wouldn't have to apologize for anything cause they'd know when you mess with Shy Tobin, he ain't gonna shy away from knocking you back!

I nod toward the door, and she smiles back, nodding slightly. We walk out together, and the noise vanishes instantly.

"What's up, Fluttershy?" I say. We keep sauntering slowly away from the party.

"Oh," she mouses. "I'm very humbled that you would remember my name. Thank you."

Something tells me she didn't have much humbling to do. Whatever. "Of course I know it. We did lots of introductions before the party began. Twilight put together a stupid name game and everything."

"Yes, she's very thoughtful that way. Still, I didn't think you'd pay attention to me, I guess."

I ignore it. I don't know what kind of person she thinks I am to ignore someone just because they seem weak. The fact that she expects that in people; it shows how messed up society can be. In her world and in mine.

"What do you wanna say to me?"

"Oh, yes, of course. I just wanted to know why you couldn't seem to have any fun?"

I keep my eyes on the ground as we walk up the stairs. The party was drowned into silence a long time ago.

It's weird. Fluttershy is different from anyone I've ever met. Usually, when you decide not to respond to a question, the other person just asks a new question that gets to the point another way or changes the subject. Fluttershy doesn't say a word as long as I don't. It's kinda nice having that respect, I guess.

We make it outside into the cool night air. The breeze blows by ever so gently as if the leaves are waving it across our faces. The smell of the grass is wonderful. The darkness feels like a warm blanket rather than a warning to get indoors. I look up at the moon and wonder at how it can shine so brilliantly on its own, not needing magic or technology. The moon and the stars around it simply light the sky with their own incredible beauty like a calming smile from a mother for her child, telling him that everything is right with the world.

I look at Fluttershy. She smiles kindly at me, not feeling any rush or discontent. It's a welcoming feeling.

We continue to walk down the path away from the palace, but the more I realise how considerate her patience is, the more I feel a need to respond. How can I answer that? I can't just tell her that it's because I don't trust them yet. She wouldn't understand that. I have to say something kinder. If I don't, I don't know what could happen to her. If I'm kind enough though, she'll believe me.

"I'm sorry I wasn't having fun, Fluttershy." She seems happy that I said something. "It's just hard for me. I'm making a big transition, and this place is different. It's not you or anyone else. I guess it's just me." There. Some of that was true.

She waits a moment. Everything seems very relaxed with Fluttershy. It's like I have more time in my life when she slows it down. She turns off the main road slightly, and I see a big tree/house in the distance. I'm guessing that's hers.

"That's understandable, Caleb. I don't mind if you need some time, but I'm willing to help you feel more comfortable here. We all just want you to feel free to be our friend."

Friend. They all want me to be their friend. I haven't decided what I want yet though. My only decision was to leave a horrible place. Now though; now that I've found a very peaceful place, can I find myself able to believe it? I'm not sure that I can. I'm not sure that I can be at peace with a world so ignorant to suffering.

Maybe I need to calm down. There's just so much happening right now, it's hard for me to take in. I need to focus on what I can do now that I'm here. After all, Discord never said that I would be stuck here forever, so I don't think he meant that. He seemed to want to tell me the truth, but I should know better than to ever trust anything that snake says. His promise is worth as much as a used toothbrush. That's why I bought it though. I was desperate. I couldn't afford to wait for something better, and he played on that. He preyed on my weakness. Maybe he left it up to me, but he knew that I couldn't say no.

I'm starting to think that's what everyone here is really like. Sure they want me to be their friend, but why do they want that? Until I can find a real reason for them to want to be friends with me, I won't believe them. I don't have anything to offer. I'm a selfish, dishonest, angry man. If I had stayed where I was, I would have been on the street in just a couple months. I would eventually have had no choice but to turn to a life of drugs, selling and using. I resisted so long only because I had that hope that someone would save me from that hell. I never thought it would be a reformed devil who would save me. But who am I to–

"Eh hem," I hear. I look over. Fluttershy is sitting across from me on a raised cushion. She balances a cup of tea very gently between her hooves as she takes a sip. She nods to the table beside me. "Your tea will get cold if you don't drink it."

There's tea on the table next to me. I look at it. I pick it up and take a sip. I put it down. The chair I'm in is red and leather-feeling. I have no idea if it's real leather, but I somehow doubt that it is given the circumstances. The rest of the room has a very classic feel to it, like a Victorian-era small home combined with a modern cabin. It's interesting. I guess it really feels comfortable if I was to describe it.

"Th-thank you," I say. I don't remember coming inside. I hear some light movement coming out of the kitchen, so I assume it's some of her animals. "I'm sorry. What did you say?"

"I haven't said much, Caleb," she says. I take another sip of tea. "I just wanted to know what I can do to be kinder to you. I know that not everyone responds to kindness in the same way. Some people like the 'tough-love' sort of kindness, and I'm not great at that, but I'm willing to give it all I have if it would make you feel better about yourself."

I don't understand. I keep staring at her. I look down at the tea and see my own reflection very faintly in the brown liquid as it stills. I pull it up and take another sip. It's very tasty; not too sweet, but it doesn't taste bitter either. I've never tasted anything like it.

I look up at her. She's still waiting for an answer. I should hurry. I don't know how long I made her wait when she asked the first time. "You don't have to change for me. Just do what you want. I–"

I stop. I don't know why. I just don't know what else to say. I guess I don't have anything else to say about it. I smile at her. She smiles so genuinely back that it gives me those weird goosebumps that Twilight gave me. I take a long sip from the tea, looking down at it to stop myself from blushing. I don't understand how they can make me feel so strange.

"I'm sorry," she says after a little. "I guess it's too soon for you to decide. You hardly know us after all. I shouldn't assume so quickly, but I really do want you to feel welcome here. I was so sorry to hear about your experiences in your home, and I want you to know that you can always have a home with me."

"And me of course." The fluttering in my stomach burns up in an instant with distrust. "You do belong to me after all."

I turn and look at the kitchen as Discord walks out of it, drying his hands on a bleach white towel before tossing it into a laundry basket across the room as a few sparkles erupt from it. A white bunny crawls out of the basket and shakes its fist at Discord.

He continues to walk closer before he pops down into a recliner as it bursts into existence. He crosses his legs and sips honey from an active, yet calm beehive at his side-table. The honey and table vanish as quickly as they appeared, but a single bee continues to float around. It dives into a cup of tea, then pulls a very long straw out of it to Discord's mouth. He sips. The bee flies out the window and morphs into a car with several mechanical, scifi movements before driving away off Fluttershy's pathway.

I look back at Discord and close my mouth. Fluttershy didn't watch that happen at all. I'm assuming it's because she either expects him to do weird things and isn't surprised anymore or because she just doesn't want to see him doing anything to animals. I guess there's still the possibility that she's just dumb. Maybe that old, crazy hobo on the corner of my street was right when he said, "kindness begets stupidity."

"What's the matter, Caleb?" Discord asks me. There's something about his voice that makes me so angry. It's not even what he says. It's just that patronizing, insulting tone. If he spoke like that on the streets, he'd get shot and everyone would think he asked for it.

But this isn't the streets. I'm playing by his rules; and by pony rules. "I'm fine. Just a little tired." I try not to let any emotion out when I say it. I'm not sure I could fake happiness, so emotionless is the best I can do.

"That's fair," he says, taking another sip. I notice that part of the chair is gone all of a sudden. "You've had a very eventful day after all; it's only natural that you would feel absolutely tuckered out."

"So are we sleeping here?" I ask.

"Oh, yes!" he replies emphatically. "Ms. Fluttershy was so gracious as to offer us her home for the evening!"

"Yes," Fluttershy says with a nod and a smile. "You're more than welcome to stay here. Discord is my friend, and if you're his friend, then you're mine as well."

That's strange. I thought she'd say pet. No one has called me Discord's friend since I arrived in Equestria, especially not me. I smile anyways. It's hard to be mean to Fluttershy, I guess.

"Aren't you glad we're friends, Caleb?" Discord chimes in.

I give him as subtle a sneer as I can as he takes another sip of his tea while more of his chair vanishes slowly. When I look down, the bunny's giving a much less subtle sneer. If it had five fingers, I think it would be flipping him off. It's not nearly as hard to be mean to Discord. That's a damn fact.

I sigh and start to stand.

"Oh, where are you going?" Discord asks.

"To bed," I say, trying to keep my voice nice and clear. "I'm tired, and it's late enough."

"Actually, if you don't mind, we'd like for you to stay just a little bit longer," Fluttershy says. Keeping me in the same room as Discord is not the best way to make me a friend, girl.

"Yes, very sorry, Caleb," Discord says. His chair starts to shrink very slightly. "We do have a few tiny things to discuss with you." The chair bursts open, and he looks around as if he's surprised by it. Why would he be surprised by his own magic? He's such an idiot.

I don't sit back down. I stand in front of the chair and cross my arms, barely resisting to tap my foot. I look straight into the snake's eyes."What do you want?"

Discord's little fang curls itself into a tiny smile across his lips as he starts to pace in between Fluttershy and me. "Try not to get testy now, my boy. We're on your side after all."

I'm sorry. What was that?

"I said, 'we're on your side.'"

I heard you. That was sarc– Wait. No.

"Yes, I can read your mind, Caleb." His words echo around my skull. This is impossible. "How else would I have chosen the perfect human to want to leave Earth if I couldn't read their minds?"

I don't know what to do. If I can't even keep my own thoughts private, then what can I do? "How can you do that? Isn't that illegal here or something?"

"I'm afraid I can't defend you from that, Caleb," Fluttershy says. "Discord's argument for choosing a suitable human without revealing himself to too many humans made sense to me even if I didn't like it earlier. I want to respect your rights, but I'm afraid it's perfectly legal for an owner to read their pet's mind if they have the magic to do so. It's sometimes necessary for treating problematic pets."

"But I'm not problematic," I say desperately. There has to be a way out of this. I can't let him in my mind like that.

"You're more of an issue than others are able to understand," Discord says. Reading glasses appear on his eyes, and a huge book with the title Things Humans Say appears in his hands as he starts to flip through it. "What is it that humans say? Ah, yes. You can take the dog out of the fight, but you can't take the fight out of the dog. My dear friend, you have much desire to fight. From the little that I have used this power on you, I have seen an enormous quantity of hate within you."

I narrow my eyes at him and sit in the chair. I won't look at Fluttershy. Even for being so kind, if she feels that way about me, then I see no reason to feel any way about her. "Fine then. What do you want?"

Fluttershy speaks up. "We want to know what's causing all this hate, Caleb. We want to help you, and we don't want to make a big scene about it. We so want you to feel comfortable in Equestria. This is your home too, and you should feel welcome here."

I stop myself from sneering at her by forcing myself to look straight into Discord's red and yellow, snake or devil-like eyes. I guess he notices me staring because his eyes immediately pop out and land on my head.

"Isn't it rude to keep your eyes on someone, Caleb?" Discord asks calmly, looking extra creepy without eyes in his black sockets. I keep staring at him, and his eyes sockets start to ooze gummy worms and green Jell-O.

I give up and look at the ground, letting out a sigh. I know I can't win. I'm against the animal-lover who doesn't care about me and my 'owner' who thinks he knows what's best for me when he's violating me by invading my mind. I can't even look at the ground though because just as the weight of his eyes on my head disappears, the disappointment of seeing them materialize in the floorboards sets in. He slithers his way out of the ground and wraps an arm around me. Fluttershy walks up as they both stand by my side, locking me between their fake-caring attitudes.

"Please tell us, Caleb," she says. Her voice is angelic and kind, but I can't trust that kindness. A kind person would respect freedom. Not only am I the thing's pet, but I can't even have my own thoughts to myself. She's just as bad as he is.

"Right now, the only thing making me hate is you two," I snap and push them off me. I walk as fast as I can out of the house, only to find myself entering another room. I'm sure this is where I entered the house. It's the only big two-part door in the room. I turn around. They're both watching me with those fake-sad faces.

"If you must leave the room," Discord says, "then you may go to your bedroom for the night. I can't allow you to leave the house."

"That's right. You could get hurt or lost after all," Fluttershy says in agreement, giving another ridiculous smile.

I just look at them. Even now, they act as if they're sad or something that I'm leaving them. Sad that I hate them. They're just taking advantage of me.

"I promise that I will respect your privacy tonight," he says. "I will not read your mind as long as you are in your room. That will be your private space whenever you feel a need to be alone. That's the truth."

"Yeah, right," I say and slam the door shut. I lock it behind me and walk over to the bed in the dark room. I sit down and shake my head. That's the truth, huh? The truth and what you say are as different as your right arm from your left, Discord.

I fall back on the bed, kicking my shoes off. I don't bother with the rest. I don't bother getting comfortable. I just stare at the ceiling for a little. It's stupid that they can control me like this. There's nothing I can do but go along with whatever anyone says. Before, I was poor. Now, I'm a slave.

I wrap the blankets around me and curl up with my head on the pillow. I try not to think about any of it. All I can see are Discord's eyes; Fluttershy's eyes; Twilight's eyes. They all seemed so genuine earlier. Now, I can't trust anyone. It's just like before. Everyone else may be happier in this place, but I guess I won't be happy no matter where I go.


	3. Dreams

Chapter 3 Dreams

My sleep comes in spurts. I turn throughout the night. The bed's possibly the best I've ever had, but I can't turn my thoughts off. Everything I saw today constantly flashes in front of my eyes, no matter how tight I shut them. When I do fall asleep, I only know because an hour passes on the big clock above the door. The clock ticks like a time bomb. Once morning comes, I'll be back in that hell outside. There's nothing I can do about it. I'll have to answer questions again, and I'll be treated like a kid.

I wake up fully, but it's still late at night. I feel better, rested, but it's still dark out. I decide to walk to my door. I don't hear Discord or Fluttershy, so they must have gone to bed. I crack the door open, but what's outside isn't the living room. It's the neighborhood I grew up in.

I nod at the ground and let out a sigh of relief. "I guess Discord realized I wasn't going to work out in Equestria, so he sent me back. That was smart of him. I'm glad I got to see some place new, but this is where I belong."

"Why do you say that?" someone says.

A tall, dark blue pony walks toward me from a foggy corner of the neighborhood. Her mane and tail flow beautifully, shining with unbelievable grace in the moonlight. As I look around, it's just us in the empty street. All that's around us are the same brick buildings and broken concrete that I grew up with. We're right in front of the orphanage where I'm due to graduate in two months.

"Who are you?" I ask as she walks out of the fog, becoming slowly clearer. Her eyes are a shining dark-green, like an emerald-shaded obsidian. I can't look away from them.

"Call me Luna," she says.

I stare, almost in a trance. "Luna," I repeat. I feel speechless, but the brilliant light of her smile breaks me out of it. I stutter out, "W-why did you follow me here?"

"I am the Princess of the Moon, child. The night is my home, and your dreams are where I set up my shield from evil. If you live in Equestria, I will be your dream catcher to defend you from suffering while you sleep."

"Oh. Then I'm asleep? I'm still in Fluttershy's house?"

She nods. I look down and sigh.

"What's wrong, Caleb?" she asks me. "Why don't you feel that you belong with us?"

I keep my eyes down. She's only a few feet from me, so I see my feet and her hooves at the same time. "Just look. I have feet. You have hooves. We're different." I look up to see her smiling. "How could I belong in a world of ponies? It doesn't make sense."

"Caleb, many different creatures are friends despite their appearances," she says. She nods along the road, so we start to walk together in the middle of the street. There's not a car in sight; just fog. "Do birds and wolves not share the same water?"

"As long as the birds keep their distance," I say back. She laughs, but I'm serious.

"You're right about that," she says. "If the wolves were hungry, and the birds weren't careful, there would be less birds in the world very suddenly. But neither of us are predators, Caleb. We are not hunting for you. Quite the opposite, we desire the best for you."

The fog thickens even further, slowly crowding around us so that I can't see the neighborhood. I can barely see to either sidewalk.

"Why am I here, Luna?" I ask her. I don't know why I feel like I can trust her. Maybe it's a spell. Maybe it's because she's different.

"No one knows why fate changes our course. We can only walk the path before us. If we may choose to walk a different path, we do so with our best judgement and with a full heart, not an empty one. Whatever path we take, we must never turn back or stay motionless."

I don't think I know what she means, but I don't really wanna ask. She's the only one I've liked yet except for Twilight sort of.

The fog surrounds us completely so that we're walking on nothing but dream clouds. It feels freeing to be so conscious of what's going on, yet surrounded by such a surreal fantasy. I've never had a dream like it in my life. I feel like I'm flying, and for once it doesn't feel like I'm going to fall. It feels like Luna is holding me up, keeping me in the air with her so that we can fly together.

"If my path is split, then what way should I go?" I ask. I can't say the words I need to say. I know what they are. I know that I need to say them as much as I need to breathe. But every time I feel about to say them, I freeze.

"It's hard to know, my child," she says. Every word she says is like cool water, flowing gently over me. "I only know so much about you. I know that our home is not where you were raised, but I know that this chance was given to you for a higher reason. Truth about your life is something you may only find within yourself."

"I know, but," I try to say. I feel like I'm about to cry. Something here is flooding me with emotion, and I can't handle much more. The fog is darkening. I feel panicky. The dream can't be ending. I need her to stay. "I don't think I can do it."

"Finding truth is a mere matter of admitting your fears, Caleb. There comes a time when we must begin to trust the truth rather than our past. Trust the future." She starts to slip away as the fog begins to fade into shadows.

"Princess, wait!" I cry out to her. "I–" I try to say. I have to say it. The world stops for a moment. She doesn't move. She stands in the fog, neither slipping farther nor coming nearer; neither becoming clearer nor harder to see. Her mane and tail flow as the only movement besides my breathing. It's so quiet, I feel as if I've gone deaf. "I–"

I have to say it. She waits for me. She is patient. I almost see her crack a smile in the fog. Does she know what I mean to say? I can't disappoint her.

"Luna," I whisper with a cracking voice. "I– I need your help." I said it. My eyes fall to the floor of clouds as they start to swirl once more, turning into that peaceful fog once more. "I need help."

I feel her hoof on my cheek. It doesn't feel hard or sharp like it looks. It feels soft, warm, gentle. My legs collapse and I fall into her, but she holds me up with her leg and her soft wing. I've never felt so comforted. I know this can't be just a dream if I can feel so vividly.

"Caleb," she whispers, holding me tight. I grab her fur between my fingers and hold tight, sobbing into her neck. "Child, I'm here for you. I know that your life has been tough, but I can help you if you only open your heart to me. I need you to trust me."

"I trust you, Luna," I mumble into her soft mane. "Please. Please help me."

The fog is swept away all at once like dust blown off an old book, and I find myself high above Ponyville, still clutching her tightly. I hold on even tighter but now out of fear of falling.

"Trust me, Caleb," she says, letting go with her leg. I look in her eyes. My legs are dangling beneath me. I feel as if I'll fall. "Trust me, and let go of fear."

I swallow and close my eyes, letting go. I don't fall. I open my eyes and find myself standing right in front of her in the sky. I can taste my tears, realizing how much I've been crying. I wipe my face with my sleeve and smile at her as she beams back with an angelic laugh. Her eyes shine just as brightly as the clearest stars.

"How do I start?" I ask. "I've never told anyone too much before. Opening as much as I did to Twilight was hard for me."

"I know, Caleb," she says, still standing right in front of me. She gazes at the moon. "Maybe you'll do better if I show you. I'll take you into my memories, child; then, I want you to take me into yours."

I nod. The stars begin to dance, racing around each other for a reason I can't understand. The fog swirls around and envelops us both. When it disappears, the moon looks much different.

"There's a face in the moon," I say.

She nods. "That was me. I was cursed with 1,000 years to be trapped on that moon."

"1,000," I repeat. "1,000 years?"

"I was alone," she says. The fog starts to swirl around us again as she continues, "I was remorseful, but I had been taken over by dark magic. I knew what was happening, but I had reached a point in my sorrow that the dark magic I had studied for centuries began to take over my mind and my body. Before I could hold onto who I was, I became Nightmare Moon."

Luna is suddenly enveloped in the fog as well, and I reach out to her. The fog is consumed with a midnight blue and suddenly dissipates to reveal a much darker, crueler-looking pony. I step back, but she reaches out to me. "It's still me, Caleb. I just wanted to show you how I had been changed."

Her fur is black and her mane has been swept down. Her wings are larger and sharper, and her eyes are narrow. Most importantly, I can no longer see the beauty and hope that was so clear in her eyes before. All I see now is regret and anger.

"This is Nightmare Moon, my child," she says, and I can tell that this memory is hard for her. "My sister and I had long served alongside one another; she raising the sun and I the moon. However, one day I began to consider that our subjects worshipped her who rose them for the day and lit their way. They saw the day as good, but they saw the night as evil. I grew jealous of her, but she ignored my sorrow. When I raised the moon, she was too tired like the rest of the world and retreated into sleep. When she raised the sun, she was too busy to listen to me. When even my sister, who I would have given my life for, I had left me in the dark; that was when I truly became consumed with shadow. I declared my hatred for the world, for life itself, and the dark magic possessed me, transforming me into the feared, loathsome creature before you."

"Could you still feel what was going on while you were trapped inside?"

She nods. "I knew everything that was happening, but I was not nearly powerful enough to overturn it. Even as my body was filled with vengeance, my soul inside felt regret for every action I made. Even when I was trapped on that moon, I could feel the rage building inside my possessed body as guilt pooled in my heart. I've never known helplessness like that."

Fog consumes her and dissipates just as quickly, revealing her original beauty. I'm glad to see her back to normal, but now I know what she can be capable of. I know that she has suffered as well. 1,000 years of loneliness, being hated and then forgotten; feeling both hatred and regret; consumed by an evil parasite of magic; to have everyone else's life move on without knowing the suffering she endures; I can't imagine a life like that.

"I don't know what to say," is all I can mumble.

"I've opened to you, Caleb," she says, and the fog begins to take us both. "Tell me about your past. Why do you find trust and love so difficult?"

My throat feels so dry. I look around at the fog, watching it grow darker. I know I have to tell her. I promised. I just– I don't– I–

"It's alright, Caleb," she says. "Take your time. Once you start, it won't be so hard anymore. I'll help you along the way."

I swallow and nod. My head is hot and my palms are slippery. "Okay. I was born and raised in a very poor neighborhood. I never really knew my dad or my older brother. They both died in a car accident when I was just two years old. My mom talked about them a lot, and I could tell she missed them both so much. Still, she told me every day how grateful she was to still have me. She was the person that I always trusted."

"What happened to her?" Luna asks in her silken voice.

I sigh. I can't stop now. "I don't know why, but one day she gave into the thing she desperately told me to stay away from. She started using drugs when I was young, and her life fell apart so quickly. The whole time she was using, she still told me to never use, and one day she told me that she didn't want me to end up like her. A few weeks later, I came home from school and found her dead."

"The drugs killed her?"

I nod. "I don't know if it was intentional or what. She was using some bad stuff."

"I'm sorry, Caleb," she says. "What did you do then?"

"I stayed with her," I say and pause for a little. I remember how I felt, looking at my mom's eyes rolled over; feeling her cold hands; barely able to see through my teary, swollen eyes. I can feel my mouth swell and my eyes getting watery, but I can avoid crying if I just talk my way through it. I just have to tell the story. I don't have to get my head involved in it. Luna just wants to know what happened because she already knows how I feel.

I look into her eyes and see her feeling for me. I swallow and hold back my thoughts back to keep going. "I don't remember much of that day except for however long I was with her. Everything else blurred into memories of looking at her when she was happy or when she was suffering or when she was gone. I know that the police questioned me, but I don't remember anything they said or anything I told them. I was only 12, so I got placed into an orphanage. I've been there for about five years. I was only two months away from being forced out when Discord came to me."

"So he saved you in a way then?"

I grimace and sigh. "I guess. I mean, yeah, if he hadn't come then, I would've been on the streets. I had a minimum wage job with no way of improving, which just couldn't be enough to pay rent anywhere, and I had no hope of doing anything with my education. I'm just not that smart."

"You were smart enough to take your chance to get out," Luna interrupts.

I stop and look at her. I want to say something to refute it because I hate to admit that Discord could have helped me or that this whole thing is really good instead of just a desperate chance at something different, but she might be right. She cocks her head and smiles.

"So what did you do in your five years at the orphanage?" she asks.

"Right." I guess I need to move on from Discord. We can talk about him later. "I never talked with anyone in the orphanage. When my mom died, everything just happened so fast. I stayed quiet most of the time, and I just didn't want to make friends. I wanted to be alone. Plus, when I saw some of the other kids start using drugs, I couldn't help but stay away from them. Honestly, I got scared. Every time I saw someone using drugs, I couldn't stop thinking of my mom. I thought of her telling me to never use, of her starting to suffer and give in to it, and then when she was lying dead in front of me. Every time I saw someone else use drugs, I just turned away. When people called after me, I didn't turn back. Sometimes people would tell them about my mom, and I knew because they didn't stop me from walking away again."

"So you never talked to people about drugs?"

"I wish. It was completely impossible to avoid talking to the dealers. Sometimes, they had me cornered, and I was too scared to run. If that happened, I used to just try to explain to them that I didn't wanna use because my mom OD'd."

"That didn't work?"

"Not at all. The always said things like they would help me to avoid overdose, like they would be there for me."

"You didn't trust them?"

"No. Hell no! I could see through what they were saying. They were trying to get me hooked, and I think they maybe even pressed harder because they heard about my mom's problems; like, as if her problems would make me weaker to the drugs."

"Do you think they're right about that?"

"I don't know, but I never wanted to find out. I had to find a way out just in case it was true, so I decided the best way to beat their lies was with my lies. So I would tell them that I couldn't use cause of sports, and some of them surprised me and respected that, but said they would try to catch me later. Sometimes, I would say that my father was a policeman, so they should avoid talking to me, and that bluff worked sometimes. Sometimes, it dug me a deep hole of threats though, and I had to dig it out by promising that I would never tell anyone about them. If they knew I was at the orphanage though, they would get really aggressive. Sometimes, all I could do was keep going until they beat me up, and just hope that I could survive."

"Those are all very dangerous ideas."

"I know, but I felt like I didn't have anything to lose. I felt like if I got caught up in drugs at only 12 or 13, and if my mom died within just a few years after starting, I would basically be dying anyways by using drugs. Plus, I felt like I had to get back at them for taking my mom away from me."

"Hold on. Now, being afraid of drugs I can understand, but avoiding something wrong to do something wrong is an impossible way to live."

"What?"

"You can't declare yourself against drugs because you're committed to revenge. Once you're in that life cycle, you can only go down. And how did you even know that these people were the ones who had killed your mother?"

"I didn't know. But they represented the same thing. They sold drugs, and they didn't care who they hurt as long as they made money, so I had to fight back."

"But that attitude can only lead to you getting–"

"And besides, I was too young and too weak to actually get revenge. I just wanted to fight back by resisting. They were bigger, there were more of them; all I had was my will and memories of my mom, and I wanted to prove that was enough."

She sighs. It's the first break we've had in the story for a while. I can feel my breathing start to slow down, and I realize how heated I was getting while trying to defend myself.

"Very well, Caleb," she says. She sounds like she was getting upset too. I never meant to make her mad, and I kind of feel bad about it. "I may not agree with that motive completely because I still think it ultimately harmful, but I realize that this is your story and your life, and these are your decisions. I should not demand you to make perfect ones, and I should not pretend that I could have made perfect decisions given my history and my current ability to look clairvoyantly on your situation."

There isn't much more of the story that I can tell. I almost change the subject, but I get curious. "What would you have done?"

"I would have resisted just as you did. I may have told lies to get out of the situation as I have experience telling lies when I need to. I'm different from my sister in that way. But I know the danger of harboring feelings of hatred, and I would have maintained a deep desire to avoid that feeling, that vengeance."

I nod. I guess I shouldn't disagree. If anyone else had said that, I would have just said they didn't know what they were talking about, but I know that Luna has experienced feelings like that, and she paid for keeping them until the feelings literally acted for her. "I know that magic can't take over me like it did for you, but I guess feelings like that could lead me to doing something I would regret. I still felt like I had nothing to lose though."

"When I was in my most dire moments of pain and loneliness, I also felt as if I had nothing to lose. I know that these feelings seem empowering, but they are deadly. You cannot forget that you always have something to lose."

"What do you mean?"

"I thought I had lost my sister, but she still loved me. You may have thought that losing your mother made you alone, but how can you say that when your memories of your mother became your ultimate courage and strength? She was with you in your darkest moments, even more so than I felt my sister with me."

I look down. The fog swirling around us constantly changes, shifting between the asphalt of my old neighborhood and the dirt roads of Ponyville. "I never thought about that."

"Just because she isn't physically there for you doesn't mean she isn't still worth fighting for."

"So shouldn't I have been fighting just like I was?"

"Well, you did make it out, but you certainly didn't make it unscathed."

"What do you mean?"

The fog and Luna both start to darken and haze. "Your heart is broken, Caleb; by memories and mentality. You know what can mend that, but you have to be open to it."

"Where are you going?"

"Morning is here, Caleb. I will return to your dreams any time that you need me, and I thank you for letting me into your heart. I hope that we may become friends."

"Thank you, Luna!" I shout with my last moments to her as the dream starts to fade. I feel like I could cry again, but I don't. I hope that we can be friends too.

Just as I start to see her smile fill my mind with joy, I open my eyes and shriek, thrashing about at the disgusting monster right in front of my face.

Discord laughs and falls back on the ground, holding his belly to contain himself. I sit up in my bed and stare at him. "I didn't even have to use magic for that one!" he squeals between gulps of air. I bury myself under the covers and pray to fall back asleep.


	4. Trying

Chapter 4: Trying

"Oh please come to the party!" Fluttershy says. "I promise we'll have so much fun!"

"Come now, Caleb," Discord says. "You can't really expect to stay inside all day can you?"

"No," I grumble. I finally stand up. "It's not like I can stay here, so yeah I'll go. I just said I don't want to go."

"Oh, how wonderful!" Fluttershy says as if she wants to sing, and I pray she doesn't.

"You should be excited, my boy! You'll be able to have wonderful conversations with all of your fellow pet-friends!"

"Oh, gosh. This day is going to be perfect," I say.

Discord raises his eyebrow at me, then shakes his head and snaps his fingers so that Fluttershy's front yard rolls away like a rug to reveal a giant apple rising from the ground. "Behold our mode of locomotion."

"We're riding in an apple?" is all I can ask. "Can't we just–"

"Hush now," Discord interrupts as a roll of duct tape unrolls itself in front of my face and slaps me with the non-sticky end and disappears. "Our ride is inside!"

As he says that, the apple releases steam and laser lights from inside as doors slide apart. I look at Discord to see he's got his arms crossed and piercings all over his face, not to mention his horns have molded together into a mohawk. I look back at the apple and see the rave within calm down to reveal a giant bat. Well, it's a car, I think. It's a black car, but it looks like a bat kind of with the wings on the side and the tiny ears in front, not to mention the fangs underneath the front. Its engine roars as it spirals out of the apple in a burnout, stopping in front of us with its blacked out windows. The driver-side window rolls down to reveal our chauffeur, a tuxedo-wearing Angel Bunny. He nods up at us and pulls his shades down.

"We could just tele–"

"Quiet now, Caleb," Discord says and opens the door for Fluttershy and me to step inside. It's a limousine actually. I've never been in one before, so this is kind of cool. I sit down next to Fluttershy on the comfy leather seats and start to wonder how Discord is going to fit inside. He closes the door behind us and starts climbing into the passenger-side door. I hear Angel Bunny screaming and shouting in weird bunny noises. I can't see what's going on, but there appear to be pots and pans clanging, and it suddenly stops.

Our door opens, and Discord shrinks down to a manageable size and sits next to me. I notice he has a black eye, which makes me smile a little. I guess Angel Bunny doesn't mess around.

I feel the car boost off in every direction but forward, but I can't see out any of the windows to tell where we're going. I look at Fluttershy and she smiles back.

"You're going to have so much fun today with all of our pets, Caleb," she says. "I know that you're a little different from them, but I know you'll just love them anyways! They're all so lovely. Even Angel is nice when he wants to be."

"Oh and that cherub just wants to be nice so often that it kills me," Discord retorts, but I don't think Fluttershy pays any attention to the sarcasm. She just keeps smiling happily.

"I just can't wait ," I say, letting my eyes roll. At least I think they roll because Discord moves the entire limo around me so that they never seem to move.

"Careful with rolling your eyes like that," he says. "Someone could get their feelings or internal organs hurt."

"What the–"

"Let him be," Fluttershy says, sounding very motherly. "I mean, that's what I do. I find it easier to just accept what he does and try to enjoy it."

I open my mouth to say something, but I notice that we've stopped. Discord has already teleported outside the car and opened the door. She thanks him and steps out, so I just shake my head and follow. I'm not sure what I would have said anyways.

When I step out of the car, I see a small lake and a lot of grass around it. There are six ponies, six pets of various species, and a draconequus. As soon as my feet hit the ground, I become incredibly thrilled to see my vision filled with curly pink hair.

"Caleb! Oh my gosh, I'm so happy to see you! This is gonna be just the best day ever, and you know why? Cause you get to see all your new pet friends and you can talk to them and they can talk to you and you'll play all sorts of games and go swimming, running, jumping, flying, hopping, wagging, napping, teething, turtling–"

That's about where I stop listening and see what everyone else is doing. Rainbow Dash and Apple Jack look like they're setting something up. It looks they might be grilling, but I worry about what ponies would grill. Fluttershy is already talking to the pets, and whenever she turns her back on one, Discord ties a balloon to it or makes its tail disappear or anything else that could be considered magical violation if that exists. Rarity is lying on a couch and mumbling and moaning. Twilight looks like she's overseeing; very princess of her.

Luna told me to let people into my heart to fix it. I don't see how I'm supposed to let these idiots in, but they did make an effort in their own way for me. It just seemed to mean more when Luna made the effort.

I sigh and give in. "–and I don't know what Apple Jack is making for lunch, but I hope it's grilled apples with some caramel sauce – I love caramel sauce! I love apples too, but caramel is better cause I love sugar more than anything and I haven't even had that much today yet! I can't wait to start having a ton of sugar because that's when I really get hyper and everybody has more fun that way!"

"Uh, cool," is my effort for the day.

"K bye!" she shouts and bounces off in a way that makes it look as if Discord made her do it, but he looks squeamishly at her as she bounces past him.

I walk closer to where everyone is, and just as I get close enough to the grill to smell the delicious apples on them, Rainbow Dash floats in beside me and settles into a lawnchair.

"So how's it going, Mr. Limelight?" she says smoothly while slipping her sunglasses on.

"It's alright," I say. She takes off her sunglasses and breathes on the outside, then shines them with her mane.

"That's cool man," she says. "I'm doing pretty alright too. Just chilling and soaking up how awesome this day is."

"It's nice," I say. The weather really is nice now that I take a second to notice it. It's a little hot, but that just makes the breeze so much more refreshing. There are a few clouds, but they look so perfect that Rainbow must have left them there on purpose. "You did a good job."

"Oh, yeah. I always do awesome." She stretches back. "How did you know I do the weather?"

I shrug. "I think I found out while half-ignoring Pinkie."

"Ignoring, huh? Yeah, Pinkie was hard to deal with for me when I first met her too," she says. "It's not healthy to ignore her though. If you do, it only makes her try harder in the long run. If you just act like you're her friend, then you'll eventually realize she's pretty cool too."

"Isn't that really fake though?" I ask.

"Eh. I think there's a difference between faking and trying something new. Like if you think you hate broccoli, you won't like it when someone makes it good. So you gotta pretend like you like it at first and give it the B.O.D."

"B.O.D.? And wait, you guys have broccoli?"

"Yeah of course we do! Anyways, the B.O.D. is the benefit of the doubt, man. You just gotta try some things out, and thinking positive about 'em is the only way to like 'em at all."

I wonder if that's what Luna meant. Maybe, I need to pretend that I like things in order to enjoy them. I guess always thinking how you don't like somebody isn't the best way to open up to them.

"Thanks, Rainbow. I'll try."

"You got it, Caleb. I gotta help friends when they need me. If I didn't, I wouldn't be this awesome."

Right. Awesome. I knew you were cocky, but you're starting to come off as stupid.

"Oh, Rainbow," Rarity says from behind us, relaxing on her red couch. "Do remember that your self-confidence is sometimes, oh, overbearing, I must say. Especially for those who don't know you well."

"I gotta be loyal to myself, Rarity!" she shouts back, raising her hoof in the air. "If I'm not loyal to me, I can't really be loyal to anyone!"

"That's very good, Rainbow dear." Her demeanor seems as fake as I imagined it, but maybe she's doing that whole 'fake being nice to actually be nice' idea. "I do love your enthusiasm, but you must learn to attempt some form of modesty."

"Modesty, shmodesty! I'm me, and that's that!"

Rarity sighs. I feel like she's probably attempted this talk before, but Rainbow is pretty thick-headed. "How are you doing, Caleb? Has Discord been unbearable as always?"

"Uh," I start. Well, yes he has, but I guess I should try that fake acceptance thing now. "No, he's great."

"There's no need to lie about it, dear," she says. I guess it was hard to not see through that one. "He's the most detestable creature I've ever met. It's only with much trial and forgiveness that I now call him my friend."

"If you don't like him, then why are you his friend?"

"Caleb dear," she says, and her light laugh makes it sound as if she's stuck up on that high-horse. "It is in my nature to be generous, and the greatest generosity I can offer is my friendship."

"Oh." Wow. She might just be cockier than Rainbow Dash. I mean, damn. I knew she was all hoity-toity, but I didn't think she could be that far into the clouds as to see her friendship as a gift; as if her personality is Heaven's grace on Earth– uh, Equestria.

"Are y'all just gonna sit there chattin', or will somebody get over here to help me plate this lunch?"

The accent in Apple Jack's voice annoyed me before and it still does, but I'll try to be open. She might be the best one yet after all.

"On it," Rainbow shouts and rushes to the side of her orange, cowboy hat-wearing friend.

"Thank you, Rainbow dear," Rarity says, barely moving. "I'm glad I can count on wonderful friends like you to help when I'm not feeling well."

"Shut yer piehole and git over here too, Rarity!" she commands. "I need help, and I ain't got time for yer half-baked excuses."

"Oh, fine!" Rarity moans and drags herself off the couch toward Apple Jack and the grill. Apple Jack flips apples behind her while Rainbow catches them on plate in the air. Rarity quickly uses her magic to fix the picnic table and plates on top of it to make it look like an expensive steak dinner– I still don't know if steak is a thing here– rather than grilled apples at a lake. Meanwhile, I look around to see Fluttershy and Discord working together to feed the pets, Pinkie waddling behind a family of ducks, and Twilight making more check marks.

"Hey, Caleb," Apple Jack calls at me, "you like apples, right?"

"Uh, yeah," I say. "Apples are fine."

"Good! Cause I got a whole lot of em for you to eat, and I cook the best apples in all Equestria!"

"Uh, great," I say. She's kind of making a big claim, but it's hard for me to say that it's a cocky one. It's cooking after all. Everyone says they're the best at it once they have something good. And I can't really dispute apple-cooking. I've had an apple pie once, but I never thought of apples needing to be cooked. Pinkie did say something about honesty with Apple Jack, so I should give her a little benefit of the doubt as Rainbow said.

Rarity finishes setting the table, and the six ponies plus Discord gather around and start eating as soon as they each take a seat.

"Caleb, you should come and eat with us," Twilight says with a smile on her face after she swallows her first bite.

I don't know what to say, so I just sit down next to them and start eating. The apples taste so juicy and sweet that I can't believe it. I can taste the smoke from the grill really caramelized on the apples, and the heat makes the juice flow so quickly almost as if they're candy skins filled with hot apple cider. By the time I swallow my first bite, all I can see is my plate full of apples. I tear into them as quickly as I can, forgetting anything I feel besides the sweetness exploding across my tongue. Suddenly, I reach for another apple and don't find any. I already finished the plate and fall back to reality.

I cringe as Discord's face is right next to mine with his mouth raised weirdly high in a creepy smile next to his pair of tiny eyes as he says, "You like grilled apples, don't you Caleb?"

"Yeah! Sure! Just move that freaking weird face of yours onto the other side of the table!"

Rainbow laughs so hard that apple juice squirts out of her nose, and the rest of the ponies join in laughing obnoxiously. I can't even help from laughing with them. Pinkie laughs so hard that she falls over, making everyone worried for a second and then start laughing all over again, and I keep laughing with them.

"Well, look who's here!" Apple Jack says, and I look over to where she is and see Winona next to her and all six pets around the table. "They must have come over in a fright when they saw Caleb giggling with us!"

Rainbow, Rarity, Apple Jack, and Discord laugh away at the joke. Fluttershy and Twilight lightly laugh and smile at me. Pinkie's just gone. I guess too much laughing makes her disappear.

Meanwhile, all I can think is that she better watch it with that honesty bullcrap. I'll laugh if something's funny. It's not my fault these idiots are always such losers. I bet she wouldn't be pretending honesty like that if it was just her and me with no friends to have her back. She'd be respectful and shut the heck up.

"It's just a joke, Caleb," Twilight says, floating another apple to my plate. I don't touch it.

"Lighten up, boy!" Discord shouts heartily, strapping a few balloons to my back before they fall like lead weights.

"I'm fine!" I say and get up.

"You can't lie to your friends, partner!" Apple Jack says.

Stop calling yourselves my friends.

They all go quiet. I look back. Everyone's in their chair and either looking at me or at the ground. Even Pinkie's back from who cares where.

Did I say that out loud? I didn't think I was actually talking. I thought I kept that one to myself. Well if I did, I'm not gonna pretend I didn't.

"Enjoy the honesty, Jack" is all I say.

I walk away. I don't know what to think about them, but I guess I'm partially glad that I said it. Now they know how I feel, and maybe they'll finally start treating me with some respect rather than Discord's little pet. I'm a man –not a damn dog– and I deserve to be treated like one!


End file.
